Yoi ni Shinu
by Kireteiru
Summary: In the life of a missing nin, is there enough presence of mind left to regret? Spoilers for Chapters 599 and on.


Title: Yoi ni Shinu  
Author: Kireteiru  
Rating: T  
Warnings: violence  
Pairings: none (shocking! Although there is vaguely one-sided Obito/Rin)  
Summary: In the life of a missing nin, is there enough presence of mind left to regret?

* * *

The breaking of your mask by your sensei's son (almost the spitting image of him, the damn brat, and using the same technique that had stopped him last time, too) brings back memories better left forgotten. As you look across the battlefield at the men you (used to) consider friends and shield brothers, you wonder…

* * *

_Rin was kind to you, the first one to reach out and become your friend despite all your shortcomings. When you were late, she at least _acted_ like she believed your reasons, even though you both knew she didn't. When you were put on the same team as her, it was like a dream come true – until you learned that your other teammate was Hatake Kakashi._

_She always patched your injuries, stitched you up when you were wounded in battle. Though you knew she was doing it so she could better her skills for helping the Hatake, in those brief moments her attention was on you. You trained and trained to garner her permanent attention, finally making chuunin – right as Kakashi made jounin. If you thought you had felt worthless before, it was nothing compared to now._

_And then on his first mission as jounin, you died._

_Or, you almost did._

* * *

When they call you by your old name, you tell them, "You can call me by that name if you want. To me it means nothing."

And you can see that those words are hammering at Kakashi's spirit. He's grown up – he's changed – but so have you. No longer the naïve weakling you once were – the one he remembers you as – you've grown into a powerful shinobi in your own right, even if you are a missing nin (and only technically one at that. Konoha wrote you off as dead, but you never officially left, no matter your actions against it). He's obviously gotten stupider in your time apart, because he asks you if you survived. You want to snap at him, _of course I did, no thanks to you!_ You want to snap at him, _what do you think I am, a ghost?_ But your eerie calm seems to upset him more than such an outburst would because of how familiar it would be.

"If you were alive all this time, how come until now…?"

You want to say, _how can you ask me that when you treated me lower than dirt for the entirety of our time as a team?_ You want to say, _how can you ask me that when my own _family_ did the same thing?_ You want to say, _how can you ask me that when the whole village didn't even care that I was gone?_ Instead, you say, "Whether or not I survived is not important. However, if you really want to know why…" When you sense that you have everyone's attention, you continue, "It's because you let Rin die."

Kakashi's pain brings you pleasure, amusement enough to make you chuckle cruelly. "Don't be hasty," you say to him, "and don't make that face, Kakashi…"

The Leaf nin was silent for a moment. Then, "Aren't you going to blame me?"

You want to snort. You want to say, _of course I blame you._ You want to say, _you're going to be suffering for it soon enough._ Instead you tell him, "It's pointless to blame this useless reality. I'm not interested in this world, since it's going to disappear."

The Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki manages to inspire Gai to action, so you move to counter before they can attack. With your Mangekyou –_ yours_, not his – you create a twist in space-time and form the _tora_ seal, creating your Bakufuu Ranbu – Blast Wave Wild Dance. Your sensei's son uses the Kyuubi's tails to block – right before you sense a powerful and familiar presence approaching at high speed.

It is Madara, the real Madara, the man you claimed to be, young and whole once more. He has defied Edo Tensei – but then you expect no less of the man who challenged the Shodai and won, in a way. He is a legend from before your grandparents' time. He sees that the Naruto before you is a clone almost immediately, but the Naruto recognizes him, too. It seems that he was fighting all five Kage at once before he came here.

His words about them anger the Jinchuuriki, who uses the stakes pinning the Hachibi in place to attack you before you can use their properties. You return Madara's war fan to him, knowing that unless something earth-shattering happens he is more than a match for both the Hachibi and the Kyuubi. He easily blocks the attack.

When Madara asks about the Juubi and the Gedou Rinne no Jutsu, you want to say, _people have been dying or defecting or both left and right._ You want to say, _I haven't exactly had much of a choice lately._ You want to say, _you're lucky someone was able to revive you at all._ Instead, you tell him what Nagato did, and he agrees with your reaction. He leaves your (former) comrades to you in favor of the Eight- and Nine-Tails. When Kakashi asks, your mind turns back to a time and place many years ago and many miles away.

And as you look at these (shinobi who once were your) brothers-in-arms, you wonder if it would have been better to die.

* * *

A/N: ERMAHGERD I am so sorry to all fans, followers, and favoriters of The Parallel series! I have been insanely busy lately, trying to keep my grades up in my classes so I can get my GPA up enough to change programs in college. And then just recently, my sister from another mother Gyaku no Sekai comes bursting into my house raving about the big reveal in chapter 599 of Naruto, and so I had to read it, resulting in this. I swear to God, Buddha, and any other deity you would care to name that The Parallel series**_ IS NOT DEAD_**. It's just on hiatus right now, but with any luck I should have time to write for it during my upcoming trip to New York City for my uncle's wedding. Wish me luck.

And as you may have already guessed, the title means "Better to Die."


End file.
